This movie has everything you could possibly want – that is, if your list of heart’s desires only includes BMX bikes, Australia and Nicole Kidman. And if that was your list, this might possibly explain why you didn’t enjoy Moulin Rouge. Because something very important was missing. I’ll let you figure out what it was.
The plot synopsis – three teens, one of which being a rosy cheeked Nicole, thwart a bank robbery using their bikes. Also, there’s walkie talkies – a box full of walkie talkies. And they’re AMAZING. Like, if you lose your walkie talkie, there’s just no getting it back. And if you do find out who stole it, then you just committed yourself to a thirty minute BMX chase across suburban Australia.
Quentin Tarantino called this Australia’s Goonies. According to the DVD box anyway.
Or so I learned from this movie. Let’s begin….
Its common knowledge that in order to gain acceptance as a legitimate sport, you need a movie about it. Karate has the Karate Kid, archery has The Hunger Games. BMX has this. I can’t wait to see what exciting story curling has up its stony sleeves.
The movie opened with a bank heist and followed the tradition of having its participants wear creepy masks like in The Town and The Dark Knight…
This movie’s thing was these odd sorts of angles. Like what it might be like to see the movie from the bike or a earthworm’s point of view. Frankly, I think this makes us all better people.
The movie’s plotline revolves around teenagers finding a box full of walkie talkies that belong to the bad guys. The bad guys will want these back and are prepared to give chase over them. I’m assuming there are no Radio Shacks in Australia.
I’m going to spare the twenty minutes that was spent in the mini mall….
And where we watched the chase from the car’s perspective…
It ends with a guy getting a pie in the face.
Brace yourselves, readers. There is a big stupid ending coming….
Our heroes round up some fellow BMX casual bandits…
…and everyone gets really excited….
And they fight the bad guys by dumping flour and foam everywhere.
They also took a break from the four notes that were being played with repetition with a cheap Casio, to insert some wacky ragtime cartoon music.
Needless to say, the bad guys learned some pretty good life lessons today, thanks to BMX bandits everywhere.
And now with no more distractions, lets get back to the real reason we’re watching this movie….
Never ending BMX action.
Seriously, it’s not ending.